Turning Wine Into Water

Photo: Greece fires threaten site of original Olympics

You recall the bible story about the first miracle, when Jesus turned water into wine.

How about turning wine into water? A man in Greece who ran out of water to fight a fire threatening his house had to resort to using his wine to keep the flames from destroying his house. "Honey, can you pass me more of the Blanc de Gris? Do we have any red left?"

We should immediately provide an airlift of Pinot Grigio to help out - especially since the fires have threatened the ruins of original venue of the Olympics (a time when athletes didn't juice up on steroids to break records or kill dogs for fun).

Boo on the Atlanta Falcons owner for even considering rehiring Mr. Vick or any player who thinks killing dogs for sport is cool. Paying anyone $100 million who thinks "fighting animals to the death" is ok is sick and sets a bad example for the next generation of young Americans.

Why are we paying millions of dollars to the people like Paris Hilton and Michael Vick who set lousy role models for kids who look up to them?

I think I'll take a bottle of wine and head for Greece to fight some fires instead...